I’m getting those scary thoughts again. I can’t sleep, but I kinda need to. I don’t care if I have to force myself to bed, I have to focus on school. Its hard, but I think the reason that I haven’t done anything stupid is because of school. I think I was placed at this school for a reason, for now I am starting to believe in the savior. Because, look I’m still here. I still get this scary thoughts, but I haven’t done anything yet. I at times still think of doing something stupid, but what can I do right. I’m basically living day by day, trying not to do the dumb things that comes to mind.
Haha no problem(: Oh, and Hi my name is Yenni :D
I just ran to the light rail taking three stops to walk to Sander’s house. Then free loaded off of Sander. Then he went to the gym so I went home. My mommy wasn’t even there, so I waited a bit outside my house. Got thirsty, so I decided to walk to the liquor store. Then Jenny called back, so then I decided to walk to her house. Mommy then called me telling me she was going to pick me up at Jenny’s house. So I continue to walk to Jenny’s, almost there my mom called. She I guess was to lazy to pick me up and told me to get a ride. BUT I WASN’T EVEN AT HER HOUSE YET. So, I call Jenny to see if she can take me home when I get her house and she says “I don’t know.” So I decided to turn around and walk home. BUTT, my mom called so I started to run home. -.-‘
So I’m at Sander’s house eating his eggrolls(: FREELOADER.
So I decided to bake cookies(;
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
1. A Jerk.
2. Smelly.. >.<;
3. Animal hater.
4. Wanna to be.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
2. Dress nicely.
Gave up on me already. THANK THE GOOD LORD. You don’t get it, my mom is a BITCH. I’m sorry, yeah I love her but she’s just a female dog. Everyday I have to put up with her shiet, and now since she has given up on me SHE’S NOT TALKING TO ME ANYMORE. Meaning she can’t yell at me. :D I see this as an opportunity to go out more. I see this as a time where I can actually have fun with my life. Yeah it hurts the fact that my mom is telling my little brother “Do you want me to give you up, like I did to your sister.” But you know what, she has said thing a lot worse before. I am done putting up with her shiet. I’m surly glad my mom gave up on me. I was so sick and tired of my mom. All day I would try to stay at school as much as I can so I wouldn’t have to go home to my mom. My mom screw’d up my life, but I don’t want her to screw up Andy’s, but she already is.
[Pause] My mom just left me for work. I guess she really did give up on me. =/
Whatever, all I can do is wait till I am older and move out. Maybe then I can help my little brother from my mom. My mom screw’d my life. She screamed at me that she hated me. What else can I do.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
1. SCREW UP FRESHMEN YEAR.
2. Not seeing my grandma more, knowing she might have died soon.
3. Go out with _ _ _ _ _ _ _
4. Falling in love with someone I met at a party.
5. Screwing up. 09/14 =/
6. All those times I cried myself to bed.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
2. Mark Lee
3. My Daddy. (Andy’s)
4. My Daddy Daddy
5. My aunt, mom, godmother. (their all like a mom to me.)
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1. The future.
2. The past; the good times.
3. My fucked up life.
4. The person I love <3
5. Random stuff.
6. “Am I doing the right thing?”
7. Doing things I never thought I would do.
Today I went to visit my real daddy.
His limping recently. I hope my daddy is going to be ok, I love him. Donavan said that I look like my daddy.
I’M GOING TO BE TALLER TO MY DAD ONE DAY!!(:
Sorry, I just hardly ever get to see him. And once I do, I get all happy and hyper.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
1. Be able to make me laugh 24/7.
2. Be there when I need you.
3. We have to get a long pretty well. As in I want to feel like I want to be around you every second of my life.
4. Understand me for me.
5. Be able to deal with me. Like my bitting or the constant yelling.(:
6. Do the cutest things for no reason. Just because you care.
7. Don’t be to jealous. Like don’t get mad at me because I’m always with the guys. You have to understand my past boyfriend are some of my closest friends.
8. Understand the family I come from and the past I lived. You need to be able to deal with it all.